


Leave Me Memories

by purajobot935



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Gen, M/M, Memories, Post-Canon, Separations, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 08:43:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purajobot935/pseuds/purajobot935
Summary: Prowl does some introspecting as he waits under a lonely street lamp.





	Leave Me Memories

**Author's Note:**

> A little song-fic, because I wanted to try something along the lines of "Unspoken" again, where the lyrics serve as dialogue. Ended up with this little one-shot from Prowl's POV. He insisted and who am I to say no.
> 
> Rated PG, though its mostly safe, and implied Prowl/Jazz if you squint a little. For the full impact, listen to the song while you read.  
> Song is "Memory" from CATS.
> 
> Originally published October 2008.

**Leave Me Memories**

 

Prowl heard a clock chime somewhere within the city…

_Midnight, Not a sound from the pavement_  
_Has the moon lost her memory?_  
_She is smiling alone_

The humans had a belief that this was the hour when the supernatural walked the Earth. Before, Prowl had just about scoffed at the idea of something as illogical as spirits and ghosts. There was no rational explanation in either human or Autobot reasoning for the presence of such ethereal beings, therefore how could he believe in something as insubstantial as that?

That had been years ago…

Now, as he stood under the face of a pale full moon, he was starting to realize the truth in the human myth. It wasn’t hard, he could see the various wispy shapes moving around – some with purpose, some aimless – and eventhough he couldn’t make them out completely – they were featureless, all he could see were their shapes – he knew what they were.

He moved among them, careful not to touch any of them. He knew nothing would happen – they would probably just pass right through him like he wasn’t there – but that didn’t mean he liked the experience. It wasn’t pleasant in the slightest.

_In the lamplight_  
_The withered leaves collect at my feet_  
_And the wind begins to moan_

He felt a ripple and looked around. Either one had passed through him again, or it was the wind. In the dim lights of the city he could see the few stray leaves dancing about on the breeze like they didn’t have a care in the world, but just went along where the wind took them.

Prowl watched them. He should be doing that – letting the wind pick him up and carry him with it, but again, it was illogical. He couldn’t go. He still had a purpose, and he had to see it through before he could even think of giving into that kind of freedom. There was still something he had to try.

Sighing, he stretched his hand out to catch the moonlight, but the silvery-white beams – the same color as his own hand – seemed to blend with his fingers and make them almost invisible. Light and shadows, just like he was… just like he had always been.

_Memory, All alone in the moonlight_  
_I can smile at the old days_  
_I was beautiful then_

He remembered the years before and a soft smile crossed his lips. Once, he thought that light and shadows had rendered him invisible, but someone had seen him – someone who had also been light and shadow. Those years there had been colors, red and blue intermingling and producing a rainbow of love and laughter despite the hardship they all went through.

_I remember_  
_The time I knew what happiness was_  
_Let the memory live again_

Happiness was another thing Prowl never thought he would have when he took up the position of Second right in the middle of a brutal war. It had no place on the fields of death and destruction, but yet it found a way there and seemed to make all the burdens a little more bearable.

Prowl missed the happiness most of all. That warm feeling it gave when everything seemed right with the world and nothing could spoil it.

It felt like an eternity since he’d last felt that…

_Every street lamp_  
_Seems to beat_  
_A fatalistic warning_

The lights flickered… or did they? He wasn’t sure. It could have been more ghosts passing through on their way to wherever. Had they found what they wanted? Were they leaving empty-handed? What awaited them in the end? Prowl wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

He lingered, watching them. Could they see him as well, could they recognize him, or was he featureless to them as they were to him?

Just a shape of light and shadows…

_Someone mutters_  
_And a street lamp gutters_  
_And soon it will be morning_

How long he’d been waiting here, Prowl wasn’t sure. For some reason, unlike before, time had stopped mattering to him. It may have been minutes, it may have been hours, he wasn’t all that sure.

Time mattered to others though. They still had things to do, duties to see to, and he couldn’t wait here forever – he didn’t think he was allowed to, but he didn’t think he wanted to leave this place just yet. There were still things he had to do as well.

He looked at the moon. It seemed to have moved while he stood there thinking. Soon it would be morning. He didn’t have much time left if he wanted to carry on. He had to do what he came to do. No more stalling.

Time mattered now, now that he realized he didn’t have much left.

_Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise_  
_I must think of a new life_  
_And I mustn't give in_

It was difficult. How was he supposed to do it all? He was only one mech. He looked at the ghosts, some of whom were starting to fade. Were those the ones who were finally moving on, settled and content? Would he ever have that peace? There was a way to find out of course, but Prowl didn’t think he was ready to take that step yet.

He was still waiting. There was a sunrise he wanted to see. He had to be patient.

_When the dawn comes_  
_Tonight will be a memory too_  
_And a new day will begin_

Where was he? Light and shadow only lasted for so long before they were taken over by the pure light, and he had to be out of here by morning, like it or not. He moved restlessly, searching just like the ghosts, though the ghosts themselves ignored him.

What if he stopped to ask them what they had seen? Maybe they wouldn’t remember him. Would tonight be a memory, or something he would eventually forget after he left this place? He hated unanswered questions. Reaching out a hand, he almost touched one of the spirits that passed him, but at the last moment pulled his hand back.

He wasn’t ready yet.

This was illogical, but somehow Prowl realized that trying to make sense of it would be fruitless. It was just so out of his field of experience. He kept moving. It was starting to get harder to differentiate the light and dark, and he needed to find the right one.

_Burnt out ends_  
_Of smoky days_  
_The stale cold smell of morning_

Morning was closer. He could feel it, eventhough temperature had long since become unimportant. It was hard to feel warm or cold when you just stopped caring about the changes. He hadn’t felt anything for a good long while. Somehow, part of him didn’t even miss it.

And part of him yearned for it.

The shadows were fading. Soon it would be only light. He pressed on harder. He had to find him before the sun came up. Time and touch would soon cease to be important at all. There wouldn’t be anymore internal conflict after this.

_The street lamp dies_  
_Another night is over_  
_Another day is dawning_

The city was starting to come to life as the lights went out. The dead were starting to leave. Some would come back again, Prowl knew, till they found what they were looking for, others wouldn’t come back again. His pace quickened, and then suddenly he stopped.

The song was familiar. Somewhere a memory stirred and compelled him to follow the strains of music. Only one voice could speak and sing at the same time, and Prowl rushed after it as fast as his body would allow.

Light and shadow, red and blue. His Jazz.

No, not his anymore. He stopped in front of the mech and stretched out a hand. Jazz looked so sad that all Prowl wanted to do was take him in his arms and comfort him. But could he?

He placed a hand on Jazz’s shoulder…

It was illogical...

Nothing…

_Touch me, It's so easy to leave me_  
_All alone with my memory_  
_Of my days in the sun_

Prowl stared at his hand. It went through Jazz’s shoulder. The sensation he was feeling wasn’t touch. It was only the memory of a touch. Everything… they were only memories. Of Jazz, of love, of happiness – in the end, he couldn't be there for him.

Because all he had were memories.

He was a memory.

_If you touch me_  
_You'll understand what happiness is_  
_Look a new day has begun..._

Light and shadow waned. Prowl moved to the first slivers of sunlight. The beams passed through him and touched Jazz’s armor.

Jazz looked up at the newly risen sun and smiled a bit.

He hoped he was a happy memory.

 

~END.


End file.
